After successfully hiding the poor during the Pope’s visit, here’s a list of other things government will be trying to hide in the future. As proven by DSWD secretary Dinky Soliman, no problem is big enough that it can’t be hidden from the world.
- Metro Manila traffic – Government desperately wants to hide this after the Philippines ranked 9th worst in the world recently. Since providing efficient mass transportation is not on the government’s agenda, Davids Blaine and Copperfield are being tapped and paid to create their biggest illusion ever, a traffic-free EDSA during rush hour.
- Pork Barrel Scam Congressmen/Senators –It would be good to see them finally behind bars. However, that would require actual hard work and political will; two things that are sorely missing in this government. And so, to avoid all of those complications, the accused congressmen and senators will remain hidden in some far-away resort where they can do no harm and cause no further embarrassment.
- The depressingly long lines at the MRT station during rush hour- Government plans to use the tried and tested Imeldific formula of erecting walls to hide the unsightly queues that have spilled over to the sidewalks and main roads. Higher walls will also be erected along the train lines to conceal any breakdowns or derailment of the trains. The world can thus rest assured that our trains are in tip-top shape.
- The pesky Media– Our great leader Noynoy Aquino, he who is beyond reproach and nigh infallible, has rightly complained that the media is a continuing source of negativity. They keep highlighting problems instead of achievements. Hence they too will be rounded up and sent to a resort that has neither cellphone signal nor Wi-Fi connection and where the only channel available is PTV 4.
- Annoying church people- Whether they are criticizing the President’s hair or his policies, these members of the clergy have proven to be such a major drag to this regime. Their inability to see the glass half-full or half-empty has earned them a one-way trip to the resorts where they will have plenty of time to “reflect” and see this regime in a different light.
- The New Bilibid Prisons- Secretary de Lima has had enough of convicted drug dealers and bank robbers making a mockery of our penal system. These gun-totting, and occasionally singing convicts will soon find themselves in a posh resort where they will receive a special kind of “training” from Lady Justice.
- The Ampatuan Massacre, Luisita Massacre and just about any reminder on how excruciatingly slow and unreliable the country’s justice system is. Government wants to hide the sad reality that justice has not been achieved. A much bigger backhoe will probably be needed.
- Political prisoners– Government has already declared that they do not exist. Yet time and again they manage to make their presence and protest felt, even during the Pope visit.
- Yolanda victims – This may require some effort and A LOT of resorts, but government thinks it would still be worth it. Aquino already got things rolling by not going to Tacloban during the first anniversary of the storm, even if Tacloban was the worst hit city. So worry not because government is doing all it can to magically Photoshop all those people still living in tents and unsafe bunkhouses.